Things I've Gained from my Ex-Boyfriends

It occurred to me recently that usually when women talk about their ex-boyfriends, they do so with a note of anger in their voice, and a list of gripes a mile long. While I'm not saying I haven't ever engaged in such behavior before (no one's perfect) I thought since I'm an adult and these boys I dated are all grown-up so to speak (one's going for his law degree, one's just gotten married to his high school sweetheart, and one's a daddy now) it might be nice to take a moment for a positive reflection. After all, I believe God brings people into our lives for opportunities to teach us and help us grow, and if I think about it, there are a lot of positives.

-What I've Gained-
1) An expansion of my taste in music. I now have a love for Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, DC Talk, and Aeorosmith; not to mention the whole genres of punk rock and ska.

2) The ability to discover what I want from life, the wisdom to see when I am just spinning my wheels and need to progress, and the strength to remove myself from bad situations and not let them stand in the way of my dreams.

3) The importance of faith, the realization that I needed to find a church that was right for me to grow in my walk with Christ, and the knowledge of what losing your faith can do to a person.

4) The example of what true devotion, friendship, and love look like.

5) The sadness of loss, the conflict of family, and the pain that holding on to old grudges and hurts will cause.

6) Not to let friends set me up, not to let friends be in my relationship to the point of trying to control it, and not to let co-workers tell me who I should or shouldn't be with.

7) The power of loving when someone doesn't feel the same, the power of loving when it's hardest, and the power of loving someone in spite of themselves.

8) Laughter, the beginning of dreams, and the ending of childhood to move on the adulthood.

9) Bitter sweet relationships, bitter sweet situations, and bitter sweet friendships.

10) Learning when to let go, when to give up, and when to move on.

I've watched them all grow up and each one gave me a little piece that helped me become who I am. And they helped me grow up whether they knew it or not, and taught me life lessons.

So I am grateful to you for what you taught and showed me. And I am delighted to see you all set on paths of growth, happiness, and improvement of your own. So here's to you. You know who you are.

And thanks in part to you, so do I.

Where I've Come from and Where I'm At

Today is a day of reflection. It's amazing the difference 9 years can make (10 sounds better but 9 is a more accurate count for the following statements)
Nine years ago I had just started dating my first serious boyfriend. Now he is married to his true high school sweetheart. I am married to an amazing man I didn't meet until college.

Nine years ago I was in high school and everything was a life or death matter. Now almost everything that mattered then doesn't matter at all. Back then I had a whole group of friends who were practically an extended family. Some of them I've kept close to me (Justin, Claire, Kim, Kari) others have drifted or violently separated from me. Sometimes I wonder how many of them ever even think about me. I used to mean so much to them. Now does it even matter I exist?

Back then I wrote silly little "plays" with characters who I joked were my multiple personalities. Now I'm almost finished with my first book, and thinking seriously about publication and other similar dreams. I had those same literary dreams back when I was 16, but now I feel like I might have the means to achieve some of them.

I guess 9 years is a long time and a lot of things are supposed to change. But sometimes it feels like these days were not that long ago. And yet in maturity and experience I feel miles away.

Then again I used to be afraid of change. Now I've at least learned when to embrace it.

And with all I feel and think I've learned I know there's still so much left for me to discover.