Myself Or Someone Like Me

Hard to believe I haven't posted in almost a year! Though admittedly a lot has happened to keep me busy. First we lost Steve's mother, then his Grandmother fell and broke her hip and had a long battle with recovery, before we finally ended up losing her as well to a stroke. Then I quit my job to keep the stress from killing me, (I had chest pains from the constant anxiety and was literally losing my hair at one point) and to give me more time for family and church. I finished the majority of book 4 and started a book 5 in "choose your own adventure" fashion. This past year has been both the most challenging, and the most maturing of my life. It amazes me how much God can grow us through trials!

But I came on a realization the other day about my books that I wanted to get down into words. Originally I thought Roxy was an idealized version of what I would like to be, (my super ego, if you will) and while I still believe that is somewhat true, it occurred to me that she was initially inspired by someone very real in my life. Before I ever watched an episode of "Castle," (or indeed before it was even created as a show) and had the glorious Stana Katic as Kate Beckett continue to feed my ideas of what Roxy should be, the heart of my gorgeous super spy heroine was created much farther back. Roxy was originally inspired by the most competent, capable, (not to mention beautiful) and strong human being I know: my cousin Andrea.

Andrea was the person I wanted to be when I was a teenager. Despite a messed-up family situation with crazy separated parents, she was talented without being arrogant, beautiful without being vain, and mature without being insane. Andrea's life, despite the turbulent forces around her, always portrayed confidence, ability, and control.

Now my cousin Andrea is as gorgeous as ever and has three small children (twin boys and a fearless little girl.) She has an excellent husband and a marriage founded on the Lord. I still look up to her (though I wouldn't trade places with her for anything, anymore) We are both amazed at how wonderful our lives have worked out, (I never would have thought at 16 that I would have a gorgeous and amazing husband like Steve, or have gained something resembling confidence in my own looks and abilities.)

So Roxy is really not me. She has some of the same likes and dislikes, opinions and ideologies I do, but she is really Andrea turned into a super heroine.

So which character in book IS actually me? It shouldn't be that hard to guess.

I am at heart, and always will be, Larissa.

The writer.