Three Loves, Three Lives

A couple of years ago I was forced to read a book for a women's studies composition class called Aquamarine by Carol Anshaw. Although I hated the story, the premise of the book was quite fascinating. The book was based on the concept of there being pivotal moments in life where a decision you make could drastically change the way the rest of your life plays out. The book showed three entirely different lives that resulted from a different decision made each time at the pivotal moment by the female protaganist.
I've thought about this for a long time and I truly believe in the validity of this theory. In particular I've thought over a pivotal point in my life, involving the three men I loved.
At this time in my life I was dating the first man I loved and had just met the second man I loved. My relationship with the first had become abusive, and it was the second man who opened my eyes to this where others had failed to do so. I chose at that point in my life to date the second man, while not entirely breaking things off with the first. This provided me with a greater feeling of confidence and self worth. The second man left me after a few months and I went back to the first man, but now I was different. When the third man in my life, the man I still love to this day and is my husband came along, I was able to finally end things with the first man, and gain a life of true happiness for myself.
Today I had the startling realization that if anything had played out slightly different during this pivotal moment, I would be leading a very different life.
If I had not chosen to date the second man, I would probably still be with the first. If I had married the first man, I would be constantly afraid for myself. I seemed to always bring out his temper and violence, and I would have lived a life of misery with him.
However, if I had not broken the realtionship off when I did, if I had cheated on the first man instead of waiting for official permission from him to date the second man, maybe I would have ended up married to the second man, because the first man would have severed all ties to me. Had I married the second man, I would constantly be afriad, not for myself but for him. He went on to become a police officer, and I would have lived a life of fear, never knowing if my husband was going to come home each night.
But because of the exact manner in which things played out I married the third man. As a result I am living a life of fulfillment. Our personalities are well suited for each other, and we have many things in common. My husband encourages me to step outside myself, and I generally only have reason to fear when he gets it into his head that we need to go on a crazy adventure across the country in a car. ;)
All this reflection makes me extremely grateful to the Lord that I made the decisions I did. I am glad he helped lead me in a difficult time in my life. I prayed for guidance in my life during that time in a way I never had before. Happily I can say my decisions led me to what seems to me to have been by far the best possible scenario. It is a great satisfaction to look back at that period of my life and feel that although every little thing wasn't perfect, I made the right decisions at the pivotal moment.