Leave Narnia Alone

About a year ago I heard that some people wanted to re-release "The Chronicals of Narnia" with the Christian content removed from it. I was completely horrified at this thought.
Normally I would treat you all to another one of my rants, but I'm actually going to let an article do most of the talking for me. I found this on the Virtual Narnia Website. It's called "Narnia Declawed," and is an attempt at what "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" would be like after such a treatment. Here's what it said-

"Once there were four children whose names were Peter--oh, wait, he was a disciple. Keys to the kingdom and all that. Well, then: Once there were four children whose names were Percy, Susan--oops, that name's based on the Biblical Susanna. And wasn't there a Santa Lucia, too? So: Once there were four children whose names were Percy, Sybil, Edmund, and Lana. Moving right along, these four kids entered a magical land via armoire. There they became involved in an epic struggle of good versus evil--oh, wait, there's no such thing as absolutes. No one is all evil. The Witch is just misunderstood. She probably had an unhappy childhood. Oh, and we can't keep calling her the Witch. That implies censure. We'll call her pagan--no, that might remind people that there's an opposite to paganism, such as religion. Ah! We'll call her a Child of Nature. So, these four kids join forces with the local inhabitants and try to overthrow the Witch--er, Child of Nature (despite her very stable and mutually beneficial reign.) However, lacking any true leadership (That would mean Him, and we certainly can't include Him.), the children and other rebels soon are turned into overlarge paperweights. Huh, well, that won't sell. Let's try this: We'll include him, but only after a fashion. So, the children go to meet Aslan and Edmund is rescued. Then Nature Girl comes to claim the traitor, according to ancient law. Aslan, not being a type of Christ, cannot die and be resurrected, so he has to give Edmund back, to fulfill the law. Nature Girl kills Edmund (but he had it coming, after all), and the four thrones are never filled. No, no. That won't do. Well, how about this: Nature Girl comes to claim Edmund, and Aslan says, "No, that's just tough. You can't have him. I don't have to honor the law my old man put into Narnia years ago."--wait, that implies creation. Can't have that. Aha!: The Witch, er, Child of Nature, comes for Edmund, and Aslan eats her (So what if it was supposed to be a parley? Getting to eat your enemies during a truce is one of the beauties of situational ethics.). Everybody else lives happily ever after, including the wolves, hags, efreets, etc. who are shown the error of their ways and reintegrated into society. The four children, not satisfied with the concept of "divine right of kings," hold elections to see who will be the new president of Narnia. Some dwarf, who was never given fair opportunity for advancement in Nature Girl's regime, gets the job. The kids go back through the wardrobe. Book sales plummet. The End."
(this article can be found at http://www.thelionscall.com/humor/narnia_declawed.cfm?menu_parent_id=4&menu_item_id=55 if you want to check the website out)

What would be left of the story? The Christian themes are essential to the tales.
I mean,what if I were to say, " 'The Communist Manifesto' is too anti-religious for me. As a Christian I'm offended. Espeically that line about religion being 'the opium of the people.' That should be taken out entirely. Why don't we re-issue a version that's Christian friendly!" Wouldn't people laugh at that?
I don't understand why people can't leave literature alone. Instead they insist on re-interrpreting things in a way that pleases them (don't forget, Emma's gay!) or re-publishing things in a way that won't offend them.
I know I can't be too far off here in saying that this is silly because my friend, who is an atheist, agreed with me that it would be wrong to re-write C.S. Lewis' stories.
If it offends you, just don't read it. I promise you that here in America, that's still an option.